You get that first like on a selfie that you didn’t think you looked pretty in. You get that first comment, you get that compliment by a co-worker who noticed that one different thing you did, that you didn’t think anyone would notice. You get invited out by a new group, whether that’s coworkers or classmates. You get into an organization that you worked really hard to try and get in.
You got accepted.
Has this been something that you always had and needed or is this something that we grow to learn and like an addict we become addicted to the acceptance of others? Maybe we forget who we are because we are so caught up in trying to find acceptance of others instead of accepting ourselves.
When was the last time we posted on social media with the idea and hope that this gets 0 engagement?
As a Social Media Manager, I think I would get fired if I ever pitched this idea, but there is some light in this answer. Stop making everything a production. We as a society get so caught up in trying to make things perfect, making sure the content is high quality and adding value to peoples feed that we a lot of times we forget why the hell are we even posting if there isn’t any value to us the curator of the post. I started doing a self project with the concept of going out every day to create and post a photo to Instagram. That’s where I messed up. Immediately when I made this a social experiment, I lost the ability to create for myself. I can think that all I want but in the end, my end goal was to show you the audience what I am creating in hopes to be accepted as a photographer or an artist.
In order to find out where acceptance comes from, I have to understand what acceptance is. Acceptance is having value to feel needed in society. So from a social media standpoint, you feel accepted when your post has a good engagement number.
This is the whole point of the article summed up in this one sentence. We’ve always struggled with acceptance. That’s this post I’m going to dive deeper into this which means and ask challenging questions.
Think about it before you even existed, there were people before us and before them, and so on. Think about the early days where the main supply of food was from the hunters. How and did they face acceptance? I think they faced the acceptance of hunting and that determined the success as well. If you came home with a 20lb cow vs if you came home with a 100lb cow. You’re more drawn to the person that catches the 100lb cow compared to the 20lb.
We’ve always had a need to be accepted. From the start of our childhood when we first were able to walk we got rewarded, the same goes for when we started talking as a baby. We get that sense of accomplishment even though at that age we don’t necessarily comprehend what is going on.
It’s rooted in us to find acceptance, is it in our DNA to try and find it even if we don’t seem to want it, deep inside we do. I know this because this is who I am. I typically don’t really care how people perceive me but I know deep inside I actually. I want acceptance even though I give off this persona of I don’t give a shit. The reality is… I do.
What does that look like if someone started a movement of not needing acceptance as women did with equal rights and the feminism movement? Is this something we’re content with and it’s now just a form of digital acceptance that we need to be compared to a physical acceptance?
What would that mean for a group of strong individuals to come together cohesively and not worry about being accepted and become who you really are without the consequence of rejection?
When people try to go against the stream, they get labeled. In theory, if you try to not need acceptance, you get a label and you are now the outcast and you are no longer accepted. You get labeled as different and it’s not in the positive light. I think the other day was the first time I ever got called different and the intentionality wasn’t to make fun of me or outcast me but rather to show me that this is who I am. You know what? So are you, we’re all different so I go back to the question of where does this ideology needing to be accepted come from if we are all unique. I started questioning our societal values as a whole.
When you don’t feel accepted, you meet the evil twin: rejection. When you’re rejected it takes a mental, physical, and emotional toll on you when you let it. The rejection factor hurts so much more than the joy of being accepted.
When you decide things are happening for you and not to you. You are taking yourself out of the victim role and you become a student.
I’ll leave you with this as a reminder. Rejection hurts, but so does not being accepted. When you try to change yourself for society or that clique that you want to be accepted by, you lose yourself and you become a victim of the role. When you can be you and fully be happy and truly accept who you are and you stop caring about the perception of others. It is such a powerful feeling. Keep being you and don’t change. You are beautiful just the way you are.
